Best Funny and naughty quotes and sayings collection for make fun with friends and share on FB Wall Status Update.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost?
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. A. Whitney Brown
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
Paddy O'Dea
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